When it comes to how well they get along with your bestie, Courtney Love, you’re looking for a Punk who…
A. I don’t expect them to get along—honestly, they have way too much in common.
B. Doesn’t relate to her directly but also had an extremely messy relationship that is picked apart by weirdo fans.
C. Gets along great and hangs out regularly with her. They’ve somehow made, like, three movies together?
When it comes to cinematic ambitions, you want a Punk who…
A. Is a dedicated documentarian who strives to capture objective reality, even if it’s more sad and disturbing than funny.
B. Is ambitious but a little scattered, doing a cameo on X-Files, then making a weird musical about plutocrats or taking a part in an adaption of a JT Leroy novel.
C. Is mostly into silly, self-referential cameos—would play a bartender in the Spice Girls movie or appear in Austin Powers or a Will Ferrell movie.
When it comes to their political leanings, you want a Punk who…
A. Is sort of wonky and broadly understood to be on my side but not because of any explicit—and thus potentially inflammatory—statement.
B. Is a bomb-throwing lefty who always has some scene drama going.
C. Takes a mature, cynical and rather droll approach to political discussion.
How would they break up with a longtime drummer?
A. I’m sure everyone would say all the right things, but, honestly, they’re both passive-aggressive and it might get messy. I hope they’d try seeing a counselor. If it all fell apart, they’d probably just make it seem like the other one’s fault.
B. No drama. One day they’re gone, never to be heard from again.
C. Drummers are for life. There’s no harm gigging on the side, but I expect my Punk and their drummer to be together until death.
Mostly A
You’re going to see noted documentary filmmaker Carrie Brownstein (some scenes of Portlandiawere apparently staged by paid actors, but you’d never guess) as she comes to town with her iconic riot grrrl band Sleater-Kinney. Sleater-Kinney with Wilco. August 12. Arvest Bank Theatre at The Midland, 1228 Main St., KCMO. $35-$87. This show has been moved to Grinders.
Mostly B
You’ve got a date with Rancid frontman Tim Armstrong, who is touring with Dropkick Murphys. Armstrong has lived pretty much every punk cliche over the years. His hair is too thin for a Mohawk now, so he’s got a bushy Beer Guy beard going for this tour. Rancid with Dropkick Murphys. August 11. Grinders KC, 1826 Locust St., KCMO. $90-$250.
Mostly C
Legend Elvis Costello has grown milder with age and is now mainly focused on Broadway. He isn’t doing a full tour right now, but, happily, he is popping into Uptown Theater for this gig with longtime band the Imposters. Elvis Costello. August 27. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway Blvd., KCMO. $55-$155.
