UMKC philosophy professor and author Clancy Martin struggled with suicidal ideation his whole life, attempting suicide 10 times starting from age six.
Martin, who left Canada and moved around the U.S. during his school-age years, struggled in school, but he fell in love with philosophy at Stetson University. He found himself personally interested in the works of Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, who focused on “the challenges of living a spiritual life” and spoke to Martin’s concerns regarding the meaning of life, especially as he had been wrestling with suicidal ideation since childhood.
Martin fuses his passion for philosophy and personal experiences with suicide in his newest book, How Not to Kill Yourself: A Portrait of a Sucidal Mind, which was one of Time’s 100 must-read books of the year and a Time critics’ pick. Martin talked with us about his memoir and shared advice for how to cope with intrusive thoughts and how to be a better support for those who may be struggling around us.
Where did the idea for How Not to Kill Yourself come about? “I’m Still Here” [a 2018 essay about my history with suicide attempts] went viral. People started writing to me from all over the world saying that they were Googling how to kill themselves and then they read my essay and they decided not to. That’s a really powerful thing that you don’t expect to have as a writer. And so then I said, “I still haven’t told this whole story. I’ve just written a little essay about it. Maybe the whole story would be more helpful to people.” And so that’s when I decided to write the book.
In your writing and through your experiences, what advice do you have for others about remaining positive? We know from the World Health Organization that 10 percent of the world’s population suffers from either frequent or chronic suicidal ideation. It might be a lot higher than that [for certain groups], but the first thing you should know is that you’re not alone. Whether you or a loved one or a friend is having these kinds of thoughts—it’s like any other intrusive thought. Don’t try to fight it. If you try to suppress it, it gives it power. But if you accept it—even if it’s a painful thought—[and say] “I’m not gonna dwell on it or focus on it or or feed it energy, but I’m just going to care for it,” then like any other thought, it’s going to pass. And that is the real key. Not fighting it, being willing to stay with it, breathe through it, don’t be afraid of it. And then as it passes, let it go.
How can we support others with their mental health? The single most important thing you can do is try to reach out to another human being. I know it can be really hard. As I often felt, the people you most need to reach out to are the people you can’t reach out to because you feel like you’ve reached out to them too many times before. But the single best medicine we know of for preventing or dealing with suicidal thinking is just talking to another human being, whether it’s e-mail or text or a telephone call. And if that person doesn’t get back to you, reach out to someone else. This piece of advice has saved my life. You don’t have to do it today. You can always wait until tomorrow. And now, if you wait a day, you’ve got a free day. You just gave yourself a day of life that otherwise you wouldn’t have had.
